What is Afoot!?

Are you one of those errant Elves who lights up every time I walk through Santa's workshop?  I found this picture on one of Santa's cameras!  I wonder if it was my stockings or stilettos that flipped your switch.

You better come and see me right away or I will have to tell Santa what is truly afoot.  

If you were the Elf who took this picture, send a polite introductory letter HERE stating your name, age, physical description, contact information AND references.  And include your confession as to whether it was my shoes, feet, or legs that caused you to leave that puddle next to where I found the evidence.
Share the day/time you would like to meet to confess in person and I will check my busy schedule to reserve thirty minutes for you to show your devotion.

Only those who prove themselves worthy will receive confirmation and details, including the fee required to schedule time.  I'm sure you will want to keep this secret from Santa.

Another Golden Opportunity!

Yes, darlings.  Another opportunity to serve this kind, but somewhat cruel Mistress.  I imagine you never thought Mrs. Claus could possess a penchant for kinky pursuits, but you thought wrong.

The holidays bring on additional tasks in our household, especially at Christmas-time.  Santa returns home positively grimy after his long evening of rewarding all those good boys and girls.  I adore pampering him with a hot steamy bath, but every year it seems my excessively hairy bear-of-a-boy clogs the drain of the bath and I always need the assistance of a handyman willing to take on the task of repairing the drain.

Should you be chosen to be my handyman, I would warn you that I insist having you work naked.  Of course, I tend to discover your dirty secrets as you work, and put you into a position to give you the the warmth and attention you truly thirst for, that is, until I kick you out for your filthy proclivities.

Might you like to assist me in my plight as my handyman?  Send a polite introductory letter (including Handyman in the title) HERE stating your name, age, physical description, contact information AND references.  Include a day/time when you would be available.  Do not discourage me with a request to assist without including your references.  No references, no appointment, it's as simple as that.

Only those who prove themselves worthy will receive a confirmation with details for their appointment along with the required handyman fee.  Keep in mind, as you are such a busy fellow, this little job will have you in and out so quickly, that no one will ever suspect what you've been up to with the charming Mrs. Claus.

Do not keep me waiting, for you can see I have been waiting to take my own bubble bath!

Naughty or Nice? Mrs. Claus will deal with you!

Oh darling, did you want Santa to visit you on Christmas Eve?!

Since Santa is quite busy during the holiday season, he leaves Mrs. Claus in charge of all those naughty boys, errant elves, and sassy girls.  But actually, you should know that Santa is really her sweet lil submissive.  Yes, Mrs. Claus is really that pretty, prim, and proper housewife who knows exactly how to appear to the outside world, but behind closed doors she knows just how to take things into her own hands.

Perhaps it's time you met me?  I enjoy taking care of these matters, and have all the right toys for naughty girls and boys.  What starts out as a nice little chat on my lap, turns into an opportunity for me to make your little cheeks bright pink, as you blush from embarrassment.  I have ways of discovering all your dirty little secrets and proven methods to remind you of them for the remainder of the day, and quite possibly for the days to come.

If spankings with a true disciplinarian are just what you need for Christmas, send a polite introductory letter HERE stating your name, age, physical description, contact information AND references.  Those without references will not be seen.  State that you need a nice little chat with Mrs. Claus and include a day/time that you would be available.  Only those who prove themselves worthy will receive a confirmation with details for their appointment along with the required lap fee.

The line is long for those eager to sit on my lap, so visits are limited to no longer than 30 minutes.  Do not delay in scheduling, for I will be available through December 31st, after which it is time for a lovely holiday in the tropics for me with my best boy, Santa.